Dog Food Diet

•December 29, 2016 • 2 Comments

So I’m at the Wal-Mart buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, right?

So on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog. “I’m starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital the last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.”

I told her it was essentially perfect diet. “All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I’m going to try it again.”

I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, this check asked if I ended up in the ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, “No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me.”

I thought the guy behind me was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Changing Your Language

•December 29, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Instead of saying “I don’t have time”, try saying “It’s not a priority” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets; I just don’t want to: it’s not a priority.

But other things are harder. Try these on for size:

· I’m not going to edit your resume because it’s not a priority.

· I’m not going to the doctor because my health is not a priority.

If these phrases don’t sit well with you, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that how we spend our time is a choice. If we don’t like how we are spending an hour, we can choose differently.

Why there are more women on Earth than men

•December 6, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Millennial International

•November 17, 2016 • Leave a Comment

A few laughs

•November 14, 2016 • 1 Comment

Just a giggle or two…

Wildebeest

•November 3, 2016 • Leave a Comment

75 Years Ago

•November 2, 2016 • 2 Comments

It’s strange to think 75 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today, everyone has a car and only the rich own horses.