Sex and Good Grammar

•August 29, 2016 • Leave a Comment

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man (on a nearby reservation) who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.

The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3’. When you do, you will become manlier than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4’" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the ‘1-2-3’ for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

The Tiger Jigsaw Puzzle

•August 21, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Dr. Seuss on Wine

•August 21, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Just Me and My Mom

•August 11, 2016 • 1 Comment

The Uplifting Thought Of The Day

•August 11, 2016 • 1 Comment

Whatdayamean…another Olympic doping scandal?

Salesmanship

•August 11, 2016 • 1 Comment

I’m not posting this to blast Hillary for giving a speech about inequality while wearing a $12,500 Armani jacket. I’m posting this to congratulate Armani for being able to sell a potato sack with sleeves for $12,500!

Such a Pity

•August 10, 2016 • 1 Comment

So, last night in bed I said to my wife, "It’s National Orgasm Week."

"Such a pity," she told me. "Right in the middle of National Headache Week."

 
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