False Alarm

•January 19, 2018 • Leave a Comment

It has been noted in the Hawaiian news that once the ‘Alert’ went out, it took 38 minutes to send another ‘text’ message alert saying ‘False Alarm’.

If you think about it, that’s enough time to have ‘End of the World’ sex, smoke a cigarette, take a quick shower, and still have 31 minutes left…

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Marketing

•January 19, 2018 • Leave a Comment

People often ask for a simple explanation of “Marketing.” Well, here it is:

* You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Direct Marketing.

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* You’re a woman and you’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.”

That’s Advertising

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* You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Telemarketing.

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* You’re a woman and you see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Public Relations.

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* You’re a woman and you’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”

That’s Brand Recognition.

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*You’re a woman and you’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That’s a Sales Rep.

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* You’re a woman and your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you.

That’s Tech Support.

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* You’re a woman and you are on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”

That’s Facebook.

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*If you are a man and secretly disclose  a list of names of those women who are fantastic in bed,

That’s “Insider Trading.”

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* You’re a woman and you are at a party; this attractive wealthy older man walks up to you and grabs you.

That’s Bill Clinton

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* You didn’t mind it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended and you are awarded a settlement.

That’s America!

Latest Olympics Headline

•January 9, 2018 • Leave a Comment

North Korea Demands Rocket Launch Competition Category as Condition to Participate in Winter Games in South Korea

21 Pictures Only Some Folk Will Understand

•January 6, 2018 • 2 Comments


#1: Cars Were Colorful! Most cars these days look fairly bland, but in the 50’s, our cars were big, bright, and fun!

#2. We Got Dressed Up for Birthday Parties. And sometimes there was even a pony there!

#3: We Played in the Streets: We didn’t have to text our friends back in the day – we’d all just come outside and get to playing!

#4: Gas Was Very Cheap: On some days, it was only $0.20 a gallon, and beyond that, the people at the station could also fix just about anything!

#5: Ben Franklin 5-10 Was Everything: We loved going to these stores. They had just about anything and everything you could think of.

#6: If it Wasn’t the Ben Franklin, it Was the A&P!

#7: Our Skates Got "Locked" with a Key. They were also made almost entirely of metal and very hard to skate on!

#8: The Drive-In Was THE Place to Be: This 1950’s photo from South Bend, Indiana shows how popular they were!

#9: Car Seats Were More Like Couches: That’s right – they were big, long, and you could slide all the way across!

#10: The Freezer Actually Had to be DEFROSTED!: That’s right, every now and then you’d have to manually defrost the freezer – sometimes took all day with a lot of scraping!.

#11: Grandma Let Us Do Everything. Well, maybe that hasn’t changed so much, but we LOVED eating off the beaters!

#12: Sometimes Your Food Came On Roller Skates! That’s right – certain restaurants had "roller girls" who would zoom your food out to you!

#13: We got DOWN at the Sock Hop!

#14: Sunday Drives Were A Thing: That’s right – on Sunday, many of us would load up the family car and just go cruising over to the neighbors or just around town!

#15: There Was One TV. And, surprise, we didn’t argue all night about who should get to watch their favorite show. Most of the time, we all liked the same shows!

#16: The Playgrounds were VERY Different: At recess, we’d swing from the monkey bars with wild abandon and often even stand on the swings and go as high as possible. And still, we survived!

#17: TV Had "Sign Off" Messages. Remember these? TV would go off at midnight and sometimes even go as far as playing the National Anthem all night.

#18: Just One Hula Hoop Wasn’t Enough: Some of us could do multiple at a time!

#19: We didn’t Text, But We Did Pass Notes! And we were experts at not getting caught!

#20: We Had Xylophones That We Kept on a Pull String. That’s right – there was nothing like the Pull a Tune!

#21: We Got Bottled Cokes and Loved Them:That’s right – no cans or plastic bottles back then.

We were 100% excited when we’d find a cooler like this to get that ice-cold bottle.

TFTD

•January 6, 2018 • 1 Comment

"We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.”

– Alfred E. Newman

A Duck and a Chicken

•January 6, 2018 • Leave a Comment

A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past, while he waits for a break in traffic.

A chicken walks up to him and says, "Don’t do it, man. You’ll never hear the end of it."

The Millenial Job Interview

•December 28, 2017 • Leave a Comment