Crash

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Chess

For all you chess aficionados…

Meanwhile in Canada…

Thought you might enjoy this tongue-in-cheek look at Canadians’ view of winter.

Reflections and Ponderings

2019 Resolutions

[categories life, irony, groaners]

1. My goal for 2019 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza, are you happy?

3. How to prepare Tofu:
a. Throw it in the trash
b. Grill some meat, chicken, or fish, or even better, a burger and fries.

4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Biggest Lie

A minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

"Nothing much, Pastor," replied the one lad. "We’re just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life."

"Boys! Boys! Boys!" intoned the minister, "I’m shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex at all."

The boys looked at each other and then all replied, pretty much in unison,

"You win, Pastor!"

Customers

Yesterday I was doing the crosswords on the Sunday paper and came across a 7-letter word for "customers."

Apparently, the correct word was "clients" and not "victims."

Go figure.