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Laws of Gardening
•June 6, 2018 • 1 Comment– "Annuals" mean disappointment once a year.
– Your lawn is always slightly bigger than your desire to mow it.
– Whichever garden tool you want, it is always at the back of the shed.
– The only way to ensure rain is to give the garden a good soaking.
– Weeds grow at precisely the rate at which you pull them out.
– Nothing ever looks like it does on the seed packet.
– Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought follows planting.
– The only way to guarantee some color all year round is to buy a garden gnome.
– However bare the lawn, grass will appear in the cracks between the patio paving stones.
– Evergreens go a funny shade of brown in the winter.
– By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb over the fence.
Grandchildren Quotes
•June 6, 2018 • Leave a Comment"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."
– Sam Levenson
"Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids."
– Tony Campolo
"Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
– Doug Larson
"My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel."
– Gene Perret
"Elephants and grandchildren never forget."
– Andy Rooney
"Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS."
– Gene Perret
"On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.”
– Gene Perret
"I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren – if only for self-defense."
– Gene Perret
"The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren."
– Doug Larson
"An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly."
– Gene Perret
"Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”
– Gene Perret
"When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window."
– Ogden Nash
"My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too."
– Gene Perret
"The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”
– Sam Levenson
"Two things I dislike about my granddaughter: when she won’t take her afternoon nap, and when she won’t let me take mine."
– Gene Perret
"If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.”
– Lois Wyse
New Golf Book
•May 18, 2018 • 1 CommentAn avid golfer has been very busy over the past 2 years putting his thoughts and ideas together in a book about Golf. He is very proud of the results and in order to market the publication, he is asking his friends to be the first to own a copy. Here’s the Table of Contents from the new book, "Winning Golf Strategies," which he believes gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that his has gained through years of experience and observations of his fellow golfing partners. He has no shame.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
– How to properly line up your Fourth putt.
Chapter 2
– How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee.
Chapter 3
– How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker.
Chapter 4
– How to get more distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5
– When to give the Ranger the finger.
Chapter 6
– Using your shadow on the Greens to confuse your opponent.
Chapter 7
– When to implement Handicap Management.
Chapter 8
– Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m.
Chapter 9
– How to urinate behind a 4" x 4" post .. Undetected.
Chapter 10
– How to rationalize a 6-hour round.
Chapter 11
– How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.
Chapter 12
– Why your spouse doesn’t care that you birdied the 5th.
Chapter 13
– How to let a Foursome play through your Twosome.
Chapter 14
– How to relax when you are hitting three off the Tee.
Chapter 15
– When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent.
Chapter 16
– God and the meaning of The Birdie-To- Bogey Putt.
Chapter 17
– When to regrip your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 18
– Use a strong grip on the Hand Wedge and Weak Slip on the Foot Wedge.
Chapter 19
– Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 tip but will balk at a $3.50 Beer at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender.
