Q: What did it say on the blues singer’s headstone?
A: "Well, I *didn’t* wake up this morning…"
Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: Throwing a banjo down a mine shaft without hitting any of the accordions at the bottom.
Q: What the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
A: One will mature and earn money.
Q: What’s the difference between the sound of a trombone and that of a chain saw?