I particularly liked the second one: been there; done that; got the merit badge.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just get out of the way and leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable: if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
6. Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.