Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “OHIO STATE.”

And they say blondes are dumb.

=====

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
The woman replies, “I’ll miss you.”

=====

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

=====

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.

=====

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I’ll beat him to death.

AMEN

=====

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

=====

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

=====

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

=====

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..

=====

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder “Instruction Manuals”

=====

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round.

~ by yougottobekidding on February 26, 2012.

One Response to “Men”

  1. Yep, about right… lol.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: