You Got to be Kidding's Blog

Why computers should be considered masculine:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Why computers should be considered feminine:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Posted in Stereotypes, Technology

Focus

•June 14, 2013 • Leave a Comment

It was later reported that his wife got out safely, and that he did indeed par the hole.

He says the divorce isn’t going to be that bad, now that there’s no house involved…

Posted in Golf, Stereotypes

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, "Do you think I’ll live to be 90?"

He asked, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I’m not doing either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

No, I don’t," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don’t do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you care if you live to be 90?

Posted in Life, Perspective

Old Pictures

•June 6, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Hippo cart in 1924. The hippo belonged to a circus and apparently enjoyed pulling the cart as a trick

Charlie Chaplin in 1916 at the age of 27

Suntan vending machine, 1949

Annie Edison Taylor (1838-1921), the first person to survive going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She did it in 1901 because she needed money, and after doing it said she wouldn’t recommend it to anyone!

Only known authenticated photo of Billy the Kid, ca. 1879

Sharing bananas with a goat during the Battle of Saipan, ca. 1944

Jesse James, approximately 16 years old

Advertisement for Atabrine, an anti-malaria drug. Sign was put up at the 363rd station hospital in Papua, New Guinea during WWII

How could parents ensure that their children were getting sunlight and fresh air when living in apartment buildings? The baby cage, ca. 1937

Hotel owner pouring acid in the water when black people swam in his pool, ca. 1964

Bookstore ruined by an air raid, London 1940

Little girl comforting her doll in the ruins of her bomb damaged home, London, 1940

Animals being used as a part of medical therapy in 1956

Artificial legs, United Kingdom, ca. 1890

Unknown soldier in Vietnam, 1965

1920′s lifeguard

1928 fashion show at the beach

Former slave showing whipping scars

Measuring bathing suits in the early 1920s. If they
were too short, the women would be fined

A space chimp poses for the camera after a successful mission to space in 1961

Testing new bulletproof vests, 1923

A mom and her son watch the mushroom cloud after an atomic test 75 miles away, Las Vegas, 1953

Walter Yeo, one of the first people to undergo advanced plastic surgery. His eyelids were damaged in World War I, and he got a skin transplant to replace them.

Illegal alcohol being poured out during Prohibition, Detroit 1929

Austrian boy receives new shoes during WWII

The Ford Theater, where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated

Children eating their Christmas dinner during the Great Depression: turnips and cabbage

Annette Kellerman promoted women’s right to wear a fitted one-piece bathing suit, 1907. She was arrested for indecency.

Princeton students after a freshman vs. sophomores snowball fight in 1893

Martin Luther King Jr. with his son by his side removing a burnt cross from his front yard, 1960

The original Ronald clown of McDonald’s in 1963

Apollo I crew members rehearsing their water landing in 1966

President Richard Nixon trying to use chopsticks while visiting China in 1972

Construction of the Manhattan Bridge, 1908

Construction of the Berlin wall, 1961

Hitler’s officers and cadets celebrating Christmas, 1941

Abraham Lincoln’s hearse, 1865

Frozen Niagara Falls, 1911

Last prisoners of Alcatraz leaving, 1963

A penniless mother hides her face in shame after putting her children up for sale, Chicago, 1948

Putting on a crinoline (skirt support), 1855

Recovering bodies after the Titanic disaster, April 1912.

A most beautiful suicide – 23 year old Evelyn McHale leapt to her death from an observation deck (83rd floor) of the Empire State Building, May 1, 1947. She landed on a United Nations limousine.